How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my sisters under your porch take her home
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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