Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I had to cum in my sink.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
