Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize