Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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