U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
