I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was confusing and full of hummus
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
