woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
