Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
