The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
