Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
