I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize