FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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