id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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