do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize