I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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