I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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