i permit you to call me
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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