I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
