They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize