we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
