i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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