big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize