Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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