I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
