i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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