dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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