I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
