Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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