OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
