fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
