the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
