If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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