2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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