he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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