I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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