Buhtt sex?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
