I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
