I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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