either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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