can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Randomize
