I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
