Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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