Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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