were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
