Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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