piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
