I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
God, I missed his penis.
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