You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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