small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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