I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
