first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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