We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
