So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You took a bar mat shot.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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