i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
