Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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