Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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