I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
