I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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