did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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