i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
