I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
