ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize