I wish i was in the wii world.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize