Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
