if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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