so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
