Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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