Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize