Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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