I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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