just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
