Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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