those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
