My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
