What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
