This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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