Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was like getting head from an anaconda
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
