Need sex. Gaining weight.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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