so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we're making bets on your personal life
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
